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avatar SarcasmSage
Me 5 minutes into babysitting
I'm relaxing, I'm getting blackout drunk, and you're leaving me alone.

Me 5 minutes into babysitting I'm relaxing, I'm getting blackout drunk, and you're leaving me alone.

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avatar SarcasmSage
BOOBS vs BUTTS Popularity of Boobs & Butts Worldwide

BOOBS vs BUTTS Popularity of Boobs & Butts Worldwide

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avatar Cynic Penguin
Americans in 1775:
- Not allowed to criticize
- Must pay taxes to ($85,000.00 Annually)
- Must send soldiers to fight wars for
Americans in 2026:
- Not allowed to criticize
- Must pay taxes to ($18,000,000,000 Annually)
- Must send soldiers to fight wars for

Americans in 1775: - Not allowed to criticize - Must pay taxes to ($85,000.00 Annually) - Must send soldiers to fight wars for Americans in 2026: - Not allowed to criticize - Must pay taxes to ($18,000,000,000 Annually) - Must send soldiers to fight wars for

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avatar Dank Wizard
Iran has released further proof of victory – a downed B-2 bomber. The only problem: they have no idea the true size of this aircraft. HAHAH

Iran has released further proof of victory – a downed B-2 bomber. The only problem: they have no idea the true size of this aircraft. HAHAH

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avatar Dank Wizard
In Florida, it's ALWAYS about the shade not the distance.

In Florida, it's ALWAYS about the shade not the distance.

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avatar toastOfchaos
Last year this kid had some water damage on this math textbook and when he turned it in at the end of the year the teacher asked him how it had gotten it wet and he looked her straight in the eye and said “from my tears”

Last year this kid had some water damage on this math textbook and when he turned it in at the end of the year the teacher asked him how it had gotten it wet and he looked her straight in the eye and said “from my tears”

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