My abuela once told me that her father met Fidel Castro, and Castro asked what was on his shirt, and when her father looked down at his shirt, Castro flicked him in the nose
moved into a new building & my neighbor joked “I hear you constantly lecturing your bf, he sounds like a handful” and I replied “lol men am I right?” bc I didn’t want to tell her that Im single & just earnestly scold my cat for taking a tone w me when I do everything around here
(I am working a morning shift at a cafe. We are serving breakfast. A little boy and his mother enter the cafe.) Me: "So, what will it be?" Child: "I WISH TO DEVOUR THE UNBORN." (There is a sudden silence and everyone turns to look. The mother looks very embarrassed.) Mother: "Eggs... he would like some eggs..."
Just hiked to a waterfall in the middle of Maine and halfway through as I was starting to feel super proud about doing this somewhat difficult hike by myself a 70 year old woman passed me going the other way wearing flip flops and holding a bud light.
in 7th grade i went to the see a movie with a boy and in the middle of it he was like “do you wanna kiss” and i was like “excuse me” and he pulled a bag of hershey’s kisses out of his coat
DO YOU REALIZE WHAT A GOOD BACKUP PLAN THAT IS
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