My wife doesn't want to instill her fear of spiders in our kids so she calmly reports them to me like some kinda mafia boss. "Babe, there's a situation near the sink. I need you to take care of it. No loose ends, I want proof when the job is done."
"#dnd magical item idea: a long spear that does 1d10 healing when you poke someone with it, with 10' reach
the AmbuLANCE
...
okay I'll show myself out"
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