chuck @charlubby my friend video called me because a pigeon had flown into his bathroom and he didn't know what to do. i told him to keep me updated, 10 minutes later he sent this
madrigal @whatmaddness bosses are such comedians. "I can't offer you more money but I would be happy to offer you more responsibility" like lol that's incredible. Best joke of the day. 10/10.
I'm eating breakfast at the busy restaurant below my apartment. A lovely young woman just asked me if I could "hurry up and finish my breakfast, my friend is coming in 15 minutes and we want to take your seat." So, I'll be here for the rest of today.
Ashley Reisinger @Awritesinger Our dog knows way too many phrases now, so my husband and I have resorted to talking like Victorian nobility to get anything by him. "Have you taken the dog on a brisk adventure recently? Would you escort the canine to the backyard, forthwith? Has he supped yet?"
What did you do to reignite your relationship with your partner, but instead ruined it? Friend tried to have a nice "Last chance" dinner with his girl, another buddy stopped by his place in an emergency, took a huge shit, and the smell ruined the dinner. They broke up after. That's a real shit move.
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