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avatar Cynic Penguin

Wife: You jerk. I woke up cold because you hogged the blanket all night What actually happened last night Me: Her:

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avatar Cynic Penguin

I don't know about y'all, but this ship runs.

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avatar Dank Wizard

Thank you.

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avatar PixelJester

How picky eaters look at you when you tell them there isn’t any chicken tenders and fries on the menu. We'll be right back.

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avatar PixelJester

Oh, you're lying, you're lying.

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avatar SarcasmSage

The whole thing. The whole thing. It is what it is, shit. That's all you have to say? Yeah. Look, I don't give a fuck. You're a fucking liar. By the time we finally caught on, you had to hire a whole fucking... You think he would really like you? You have nothing to offer. Nobody. Yeah, shut the fuck up. No one's talking to you. I don't give a fuc... THIS GOTTA BE THE ONE TIME CATCHING SOMEONE CHEAT BACKFIRED. Look I don't give a f*ck, I really don't. For me I'm chillin, I'm good. And you gave it to me. Who the f*ck are you? I'm not f*cking talking to you.

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