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avatar SarcasmSage

When i ordered 100g of Uranium 238 but the delivery guy took 4.5 Billion years This is only half. That's right. Yo! Where's the other half, bitch?

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avatar PixelJester

She cut my privacy hedges for her "million-dollar view" so I built a 27-foot container wall

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avatar SarcasmSage

huh Oh

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avatar SarcasmSage

After eating for two months... Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Turtle Power They're the world's most fearsome fighting team They're heroes in the house shell and they're pretty When the evil Shredder attacks These turtle boys don't cut no slack

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avatar @glitch_

How that one guy sleeps while his demonic, soul-crushing car alarm goes off and wakes up everyone in the neighborhood at 4am. Thank you.

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avatar @glitch_

How do I explain to my neighbors that this weird noise is just my dog?😂 All right, let's strategies and sustainability go!

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