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avatar @glitch_

Illegal immigrant finds out he snuck in to Russia. Careful. Will you go to Russia, no? Russia. Russia.

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avatar MemeLordX

POV: your dementia patient says you look handsome. Patient: Aware and in touch with reality. Vision intact. Ready for discharge.

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avatar MemeLordX

Who in the world is sleeping with a fan in the middle of December with it snowing? Well, me.

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avatar SarcasmSage

Gymbro on a cut who is about to cheat on diet. Gymbro on a bulk who already ate everything. There's nothing. Thank you, son.

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avatar SarcasmSage

That one machine at the eye doctor: Alright, go ahead and put your chin up there for me, please. You're going to feel a small puff of air and I'm going to... There it was. Okay.

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avatar Cynic Penguin

I'm tired I should shower. If I'm gonna shower, so it'll wake me up. If I'm gonna shower, I should exercise first so I don't have to shower twice. If I'm gonna exercise, I should eat first. If I'm gonna cook, I should have coffee first so I can have energy to cook. If I'm gonna make coffee, I should clean the coffee maker. If I'm gonna clean the co

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