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avatar SarcasmSage

"So is this your 1st time auditioning for President?"

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avatar Cynic Penguin
Laws don’t stop evil men. Good men stop evil men.

Laws don’t stop evil men. Good men stop evil men.

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avatar Cynic Penguin
Smoked before my ID picture so when I get pulled over high I look normal. CALIFORNIA IDENTIFICATION CARD. Modern problems require modern solutions.

Smoked before my ID picture so when I get pulled over high I look normal. CALIFORNIA IDENTIFICATION CARD. Modern problems require modern solutions.

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avatar @glitch_
IM BABYSITTING and I accidentally texted the parents

IM BABYSITTING and I accidentally texted the parents "the baby died" instead of the "the baby monitor died" and I SWEAR TO GOD I have never gotten a call so fast in my life

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avatar Dank Wizard
MFW I say bye to my wife before work. (I'll see her when I go home for lunch)
I have taken my worst wound at this parting, having looked my last upon that which is fairest.

MFW I say bye to my wife before work. (I'll see her when I go home for lunch) I have taken my worst wound at this parting, having looked my last upon that which is fairest.

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avatar @glitch_
Women on Bumble No Longer Have to Make the First Move
As dissatisfaction with online dating grows, the app that put women in control is shifting course.
But over the years, Bumble received feedback from women who found that making the first move was 'a lot of work' or 'a burden,'

Women on Bumble No Longer Have to Make the First Move As dissatisfaction with online dating grows, the app that put women in control is shifting course. But over the years, Bumble received feedback from women who found that making the first move was 'a lot of work' or 'a burden,'

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