me: interested in how the sun shines in our new apartment
boyfriend:
Are you at the apt
Yeah
Did you notice how much natural light there is
IN THE APARTMENT LOL
There’s no beer in the apartment
One of my dearest and best friends who is also my neighbor asked if he could get my spare keys to let my dog out while I was at work today and I just got home....
Reality
I stare at my human until she shares her food.
LinkedIn
I deploy sustained, nonverbal negotiation tactics to influence meal-based resource allocation.
I'm sorry I thought this was America
A Florida man was arrested for attempting to “baptize” an alligator in a Waffle House using a pitcher of iced tea.
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